Crazily Random Warriors DareDating Show
by SwiftStar1
Summary: Hi! Do you want to read something compleatly random,stupid,funny,crazy? Well your at the right place! Don't send in suggestions (donno how to spell that) Sit back and drink a long glass of pizza juice,and enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**Crazily Random Warriors Dare/Dating Show**

**Rules:**

** can put in what you want if you want, I may(Or probley) not pick yours so don't get upset,most of these are thought by me and my bffs Spottedbreath and Tangleheart.**

** me if u want to send in something,your comment will be deleted if you put in comments,I don't want to be reported.**

** gayness and cuss words (don't ask)**

**4. YOU MUST REVIEW!**

**...page...break...pie...flavor...**

**Cast:**

**SwiftStar (Swifty) (Me)**

**Black she-cat with blue eyes**

**Can make anyone do anything with her creepy stare**

**Tangleheart (Tanglez)**

**Gold and black she-cat with gray eyes**

**Sweetest out of the bunch,Is nice but likes to jump out and scare people.**

**Spottedbreath (Spotty)**

**A a brown, black,gold,and white spotted she-cat with amber eyes**

**Is the most dangerous out of the bunch,likes to fight for fun.**

...page...break...never...doubt...the...power...of...pieness...

"Hi I'm SwiftStar,and welcome to CRWD!" I yowled.

"YES WE KNOW WE ARE!" Spotty yelled,and tried to smack me.

"BOO!" Tanglez screamed,coming up behind Spotty.

"AHHHHHHHHHH! DIE TANGLEZ!" Spotty screamed and started chasing her around with a mallet that appeared out of nowhere.

"Okay then,are first one is for...Ashfur and Hollyleaf." I mewed. "SPOTTY,TANGLEZ GET THEM.

"Okay fine, come-" Spotty started but got cut off.

"BOO!" Tanglez screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THAT'S IT,I'M GONNA GET YOU! GRRRAAAAAAHHH!"Spotty screamed and now had a giant fly swater.

"Where do you get all the wepons Spotty?!" I yowled.

" !" She screamed.

"Well it looks like the show will not go on till next time,see y'all next time!" I mewed.

"BYE!"

...pagebreak...pizza...is...like..zebras...

**Okay how'd u like it? Review people!**


	2. Episode 2

**Episode 2**

"Well she's not going to scare me a third time!" she mewed,walking to the bathroom.

"BOO!" Tanglez screamed

"AHHHHHHHH,I'M GONNG GET YOU...AGAIN!" Spotty screamed in her face.

"OKAY THATS ENOUGH!" I sceamed at them.

"OH YEAH WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!" Spotty screamed back.

I took out my phone and started texting. "Hey Spotty is fighting again,you should come down to the studio and stop her."

"NOOOOO DON'T SEND THAT!" Spotty yelled.

"THEN STOP FIGHTING AND GO GET ASHFUR!" I screamed.

"Okaay come on Tanglez." She mewed.

"No she is getting Hollyleaf. I'm the youngest of all of you,why do I have to act like the grown-up?!" I sighed.

...Comercial Break...Kitty...Krunch...

"Okay we are back! SPOTTY WHERE ARE YOU!" I yelled.

"I'M HERE! HERE IS ONE KNOCKED OUT ASHFUR!" She screamed and looked like she had a truck-Load of catnip and sugar.

"Wake hime up! He needs to be alive...for now! Anyway why do you have crazy eyes?!" I mewed.

"WELL I WENT FOR ASHFUR, BUT I FOUND FIRST A GIANT FEILD OF RAINBOWS- CATNIP-SUGAR-" She started but Tanglez stuck her paw in her mouth.

"Thank you Tanglez,Now the first one is" I picked up the card and read it." Ashfur and Hollyleaf must be mates for one day without hurting echother!" I mewed overly percky,but by the time I said it they we're awake.

"WHAT! NO!" They yelled at the same time. "HEY STOP REPEATING ME! NO YOU STOP!" They kept on yelling till they went poof.

"Aww what a cute couple! We'll see the video of them later,now bring out Graystripe,Silverstream,and Millie! But first a break!"

...

_Ever board with plain old stalking? It takes more time,and you haveto do it everytime for just one little mouse!_

_Well not anymore! With the new and improved "Mousey Trapz!_

_(Yad-a-yad-a-ya more words anda buy it today and it's over)_

_..._Commerical_...break...random...twoleg...labtop...fishtank...sleep..._

"Okay Tanglez,put Graystripe in the cage. Don't forget the gag. Yeah that's good" I mewed.

"OKAY ITS FINE NOW! SPOTTY BRING OUT THEM!" I yelled so they could hear me.

"Okay,here you two!" I handed them paint-ball guns,bombs and other "Stuff".

"Now Graystripe said he liked Silverstream better,but she has not as preitty eyes as Millie!" I mewed.

Result: (BOOM! CRASH! SPLAT!)

"Okay thats all for now (cough) but tune in next week for more! And rember review!" I mewed in the smoke.

"DIE SILVERSTREAM!"

"I'M ALREADY DEAD..SO TAKE THAT!"

...PAGEBREAK...tired...must...sleep...

**Ok now rember review,oh and to my first reviewer (and flamer) the scaring thing my seem stupid but it actually happened,4 times.**

**Anyway who wants me to type my friends reaction when I tell her that I put her being scared by Tanglez thing online!**

**Random cat in a bannana suit:REVEIW!**


	3. Episode 3

**Episode 3**

"Hi everyone! I am mad at Spottedbreath so Tanglez is my only co-host today!...Now lets go over the rules!" I mewed.

** ,Zero,Not any,None gayness or cuss words.**

**2. DO NOT EVER IN THE WORLD LEAVE YOUR DARE/PAIR IN THE COMMENTS! PLEASE PM(privet message) ME OR ELSE I WILL NOT DO IT! (I'm sry I don't want to be reported :( )**

** THERE WAS A NUMBER THREE FORGET IT LIKE ME!**

**4. I LIKE PIE!**

**ON WITH THE SHOW! (why am I yelling)**

**...Pagebreak...oooooh...shiney!...(Snap)...owwwww**

"First one,okay this is a weird one..." I look at the slip in my paw.

"Hawkfrost on Warrior Idol!" Tanglez screamed comming up behind me.

"AH! YOU HAVE GOT TO QUIT DOING THAT!" I yelled at her,forcing myself not to make her see stars (You know what I mean)!

"ROLLING!" Some random sound booth cat screamed.

...film...

_"Okay what are you going to sing for us." Judgestar 1 asked (Yeah forgot the names ,there's 1,2,3)_

_This!: BLAH BLAH BLAH! SOMTHING ABOUT PONYS AND WORLD DOMMINATIOM,YADDA YADDA YADDA...(Glass shattred)_

_The judgestar's spoke in usuion (Creepy): YOU SHALL BE ARESTED FOR A INSULT IN...EVERYTHING! POLICE!_

_Hawkfrost:NOOOOO I'M TO PRETTY TO DIE!_

_...END OF VID..._

"LOL!" I yelled.

"Announcement time! For the next chappies we will be doing asdf movies! So if you don't like Asdf...skip it and **bleep,** (Some of the asdf will be changed so its sutible for young readers)." Tanglez mewed.

"Tanglezz!"

"Whaaat! Why did blep me? All I said was "Go to bedland!" " She mewed.

"Oops...Err...ON WITH THE SHOW!" I yelled.

...vidbreak...ASDF...(OMG THE KEYS R RIGHT NEXT 2 ECHOTHER!ASDF)

~How Firestar lost one f his lives~

Firestar brings his paw forward and back from Leafkit's muzzle. "Got your nosse!" He mewes.

"Hee,hee,hee!"

Blackstar burst in with a sawed off shot gun."LOOK OUT! HES GOT A NOSE! (PWEW,BOOM,PWEW,BOOM!)

...

~Rusty's coller~

"YOU GOTTA HELP ME MAN! MY COLLAR'S EVIL,AND GONNA KILL ME-E-E-E!" Rusty screamed at Smudge.

Sumdge glances around and backs away veeery slowy.

"Please don't h-hurt me." Rusty looks at his collar.

"MU-HA-HA-HA..."

...

~Mapleshade's Flower~

Mapleshade walked up to Snowtuft,who backed away.

"Hey-Hey guy,smell my flower!" She pointed at the flower on her chest.

(Smells) "Mmmmm!" He mewed,then a random snake jumps out of it.

(Rest is concered)

...

~The Button~

Lepordstar walks up to a big sign in Starclan. "~POINTLESS BUTTON~ warning pointless." She reads and pushes it.

(CLICK!...Wait for it...Wait for it) "Hmmf..."

...

~Brambleclaw's Video Game~

"Hey man!" Ashfur walks up,Brambleclaw punches him. "AWW! WHAT THE DARK FOREST IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" He screams.

"LEVEL UP!"

"WHERE DID THE VOICE COME FROM?!"

...

~How Bluestar lost her third life~

Bluesstar and Raggedstar we're getting mad over a mouse,when suddenly Raggedstar jumped on her.

'Somebody help me! I'm being robbed!" SHe cried,and then Patchfoot lept out and yelled.

"I WILL SAVE YOU! TREE POWERS ACITAVATE! (no idea how to spell thaT) (DONK! Wait for it...and NOTHING)

...

~Tigerstar's Potato~

"DIE POTATO!" Tigerstar yelled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO-" (Smash)

...

"No more till later I'm tired!" I yelled.

"I agree! NO ONE HERE OWNS WARRIORS,REVIEW!" TANGLE YELLED!

**BYE,AND IF YOU WILL LEAVE A WISH YOU WELL COMMENT! I AM GOING TO COMPITION TOMMAROW! (rollerskateing) REVIEW!1**


	4. Episode 4

**Episode 4 (Asdf craziness)**

**...**

Scrouges pie

Scrouge walks up to Bone. "I baked you a pie!" He mews.

"OH BOY! What flavor?!" He asked,bouncing up and down.

Scrouge narrows his eyes. "Pie flavor!" He barks. (NAWOOO) Bone's eyes get big as a pie pops out of the crust,chasing him.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

...

~Blackstar's kit days~

"I like singing!" Russetkit yelled.

"I like dancing!" Clawkit added.

"I like monsters." Blackkit mewed,everyone stared at him.

(VRRRRROOM!)

...

~Firestar's real prophecy reading~

Goosefeather and Featherwhisker where sitting on a cliff.

"Hey look,It says "_Fire alone will save the Clan.."_ on the stars. " Goosefeather mewed.

"Oh so it does." Featherwhisker looked up,Goosefeather shoved him. "Aww you pushed me over..."

"GOOSEFEATHER RULEZ SUPREAM!" Goosefeather screamed (WIth bad spelling). The result: He got struck by lighting.

...

~Tigerstar's potato returns~

"DIE POTATO!" Tigerstar yelled,comming up from behind.

The potato turned around. (CLICK,CLICK) He aimed a gun at Tigerstar. "Not _**Today!"**_

...

~Smallear's...Ok just read~

"AH HA!" He exclaimed,rubbing his paws together. "They said I could never teach a llama to drive!"

"BRRRAAAWWW" The llama screamed,heading towards a cliff.

""NO LLAMA,NOOOO!" Smallear yelled.

"BRRRRAAAWWWAAA!"

...

~Cloudtail's eating rainbows... ~

"DOCTOR,DOCTOR! I THINK I ATE A BAD RAINBOW!" Cloudtail screached,running to Cinderpelt.

"Cloudtail." She began. "I've told you before,you can't eat rainbows."

"YES I CAN!" Cloudtail yelled at her.

"Okay." She sighed. "How can you tell?

"BLAH-RAINBOWS!"

...

Bluestar's Boot camp~

Bluestar staked in front of the dog pack,and then yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU?! WARRIORS OR KITTYPETS?!" She yelled.

The dogs looked at echother,than at her,then back,then forth,till one dog screamed. "ROOF-ROW-RUFF!" The others agreed. "ARROOOOOOO!" Then they ran at her with pointy sticks.

And thats how Bluestar lost her last life.

...

~Blackkit returns~

"Hey kids! I brought you some cookies!" A random mother walked up and said.

"YAY COOKEIS! OH MY GOSH! WHOO! COOKIES! YUM!" The many yowls came up.

"I like monsters." Blackkit said. Everyone fell silent,and stared.

(VRRROOOM!)

...

~Barkface's wrong turn~

Poor Barkface,he took a wrong turn to Starclan,and now he's on a kitty show...

_**"Barkface,The-Moon-Cat!" **_The "Voice" said.

"How did I...Get here?" Barkface said,looking around.

**"**_**THE END!"**_

...

~Longtail's Book~

Longtail was looking at a book,and lifted his head. "Ha-Ha-Ha! I can't read!" He mewed.

...

~Brokenstar's first death~

"KITTEN FIGHT!" Some cat yelled.

"NO-WAIT! I'M ALLERGIC TO ADORABLENESS! (okay,cant spell that)" He yelled.

(DONK) Brokenstar picked the kit off his face. "Awww!" He mewed. (Kit eyes ALWAYS works!)

**R.I.P**

...~Blackstar's "dad"~

"What are you up to son?" Some cat that was not Blackkit's dad asked.

"I like monsters." He mewed.

"Ha-Ha-Ha! Yes you do!"

...

~No idea what to name this~

"Hey you know who's stupid? You!" Some cat mewed to Blackkit.

(VVVRRROOOM)

...

~Pinestar's bagle~

"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" Pinestar mewed from inside a two-leg fence.

"Yes you can." Lionpaw mewed, comming over the fence.

"Yeah,I guess your right..."

...

**I don't own Warriors or Asdf (Sadly),Review!**

**Tanglez:YEAH REVIEW!**


	5. Episode 5

**Episode 5: Santaclaws?**

"Okay cats of all Clans. I have NOT been a good author for you- so heres a very special break from ASDF,and a Christmass version!" I yell at the camera,and grab some pie.

"WAIT WHERE'S MY PIE?!"

...Showbreak...WHO...TOOK...MY...PIE?!...

"FIRESTAR! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'M GOING TO TELL YOU! YOU ARE TAKING THE KITS TO SEE SANTACLAWS!" Sandstorm screamed at her mate.

"But I don't wanna." Firestar whined.

"You. Are. Taking. Them. NOW!" Sandstorm screamed once more,her eyes almost setting his 'Flame pelt' on fire.

"Okay,fine! I'll take them to see Santaclaws." Firestar muttered,avoiding her laser-like gaze.

"Technically,it's Santa Claus-also know as Saint Nicholas,who in past times gave presents to..." That was Leafkit Firestar's and Sandstorm's daughter-the smartest in the Clan,also some what annoying when it came to...well things.

"WHATEVER!" Squirrelkit screamed,(Sigh) she was just like her mother in every way.

"Ah 'whatever', what a lovely phrase. The term invented in the-" Leafkit got interrupted.

"WHO CARES?!"

"I do."

"WE'RE NOT AT YOUR WARRIORS CEREMONY MISS.'I do'"

"I going to be a medicine cat. Did you know the first medicine cat was in the-"

"QUIT IT!" Squirrelkit screeched.

"SQUIRRELKIT! DON'T GET CROSS WITH YOUR SISTER!" Sandstorm screamed. Firestar started muttering about aspirins and headaches.

"Sandstorm,Cloudtail has a report for you." A small voice came,it was Cinderpelt.

"BRING HIM IN!" Cloudtail walked in.

"WELL? WHATS THE REEPORT?"

"On the first day of my job,you came to me,I found I had to buy a pear tree." Cloudtail sang.

Twenty verses later,Sandstorm lost it. "WHAT THE DARK FOREST DO YOU WANT TO REPORT?!"

"You made me lose my place! I really need some space! Now your gonna have to face my singing again!" Oh StarClan,now he was rapping!

"_Why, oh why can't my family be normal_?" Firestar thought,begining to cry.

..Showbreak...The...Fire...that...saved...the...clans...may...burn...out...in...a...rain...of...XD-worthy...Tears...

After hours of screaming,learning,and singing. The party of three finally set off and arrived at Christmass land. Kits and their parents where everywhere,and havic was now a mild term compared to this.

Firestar put his tracking devices on his kits and told them to play on the playground,and fell into the ground-Word to the wise: Fake snow taste HORRIBLE!

The flame pelted cat heard a thumping sound. Behold to his tired eyes was Tigerstar banging his head against the wall.

"Err...Tigerstar? Why and how are you here?"

He looked up and answered,"Well StarClan gave Goldenflower the power to find me in her dreams in the Dark forest,and since this is a all access point for every cat-she forced me to take our kits."

"I know how you feel,Sandstorm did preitty much the same thing." Firestar replied. "Hey I have an idea. Its going to be a loooong night anyway without trying to rip echothers pelts off. Truce for tonight? "

Suddenly the kits of the two fathers came up and said like zombies,"Santaclaws...We must see Santaclaws..." It was compleatly creepy.

"Truce!" Tigerstar said in a panic attack voice. Without another zombie word,we went to Santaclaws's den-or whatever he calls it.

...Showbreak...ATTACK...OF...THE...ZOMBIE...KITTYH...

"What tha-!"

"Do you see-!"

"This is wrong,all wrong!"

The two Fathers stood in horror as they watched their kits run to the line of kits leading to a magical-cat speaking-Twoleg in a red pelt!

"He is using mind control to brain-wash the kits! Do you see him talking to those kits and the kits nodding? He wants to control the Clans! And thats my thing!" Tigerstar hissed,claws sliding out.

"Your right! Now we must save our kits and the Clans!" FIrestar agreed,and they leaped into action.

"AHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE E!"

And thats how Santa got a shave and Tigerstar and Firestar got on the Naughty List.

...Pagebreak...poor...Santaclaws...

**Well how'd you like it? I'm sorry that I haven't been updating,but at least I did now!**

**Okay I'd keep blabing on and on,but I have a headache sooo... **

**REVIEW!**


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